


How Izuna's elbow saved everyone's nerves

by malazuzu22



Series: Random short MadaTobi [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Bickering, Even Hashirama, Everyone is already tired of their shit, Idiots in Love, Izuna saves the day, Just get together will you, M/M, Madara has a crush, Mutual Pining, Run Izuna run, Tobirama as well, Uchiha Izuna Lives, but forever in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 06:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11777523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malazuzu22/pseuds/malazuzu22
Summary: Madara and Tobirama are constantly at each other's throats and it's not fun anymore. Izuna has to do something about that and spare everyone of the headaches.Just a short thingy to accompany a MadaTobi pic I'm working on and post later. (:





	How Izuna's elbow saved everyone's nerves

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! (:

They were at each other’s throats again. No matter how amusing their unending ability to create new sophisticated ways to insult each other were, enough was enough. This thing (aka unresolved sexual tension so thick Izuna could cut it with his katana and eat it for breakfast) was hanging between them for far too long and it started to wear everyone’s nerves down.

Heck, even Hashirama complained the other day that he suffered from massive headaches induced by their shouting matches (shouting matches being the definition of chakra flaring so aggressively the walls and furniture within 10 metres range were cracking and half of the village knowing what was the newest insulting nickname they were calling each other at the moment). Not to mention all the property damage their esteemed hokage was forced to repair with his mokuton afterwards.

 

And there they were again. Madara went to the hokage tower that morning clad in his full gear, which could mean only one thing – Hashirama was about to send him on a mission. That was why Izuna tagged along in the first place. When Madara was out of the village, Izuna – partially out of boredom, partially out of the kindness of his heart and partially to impress Touka with being a responsible adult – took over his brother’s responsibilities and helped Hashirama with anything he needed.

 

Izuna heard the ‘problem ahead’ bell ringing the moment they opened the door to the hokage office and Tobirama was there, arms crossed and frown on its usual place, nothing out of ordinary really, save one small detail – he too was wearing his blue armour with white fur collar (and wasn’t that fluffy thing ridiculous and adorable at the same time? Izuna really wanted to pet it sometimes but the Senju would probably cut his hand off should he try).

Madara stopped dead in his tracks and with two bleary blinks came to the most possible conclusion. Hashirama’s cheerful grin, all too bright even for his usual self, only confirmed Izuna’s suspicion and he face-palmed himself. Hashirama was sending the idiots on the mission _together_.

 

‘No way, I’m not going anywhere with that prick!’ Madara shouted at the hokage, whose smile widened so much it had to hurt. ‘Oh, good morning to you as well, Uchiha.’ Tobirama uttered with his usual undertone dripping with sarcasm Izuna was convinced the white-haired Senju had stored exclusively for his brother.

‘Ugh, good morning? Shove it you-know-where, this is a fucking nightmare!’ Madara retorted and stalked over to the desk to lean over it menacingly, trying to burn Hashirama with his glare. ‘Now now, calm down, Madara. I didn’t even say anything yet.’ Hashirama tried to placate him, still sporting the unnatural grin.

 

‘Anija, as many doubts I have about the height of Madara’s intelligence, please stop mocking at least mine. We all know why you summoned us. And for once I have to agree with the Uchiha, you can’t be serious.’ Tobirama spoke with his typical calm collected aggressive manner that irritated Madara so much.

 

‘Listen, I have no other choice. This mission has a vital importance and top secret classification. I could entrust it only to you two and no one else. We need you as the best sensor to track the enemy down but they would be too much for you on your own.’ Hashirama explained patiently, albeit with a bit tired voice.

‘So you’re sending me along to cover the milky’s sorry ass, huh?’ Madara huffed from his position in front of the desk to bring Hashirama’s attention back on himself. ‘No! Well, yes, but not quite. There are several very strong shinobi in the party you are about to ambush, I need you both equally on this mission. Take it as a challenge if you have to.’ Hashirama fiddled with the loose string of his robes.

 

‘Kindly please stop mentioning my ass, which is, by the way, exquisite.’ Tobirama scoffed Madara’s way. So far Izuna remained nonplussed but seeing the redness that took over Madara’s cheeks, he quietly took a step back to avoid being dragged into the inevitable clash.

‘You truly are so full of yourself, Senju. Your arse is nothing special.’ Madara spat back and Izuna snickered. His brother was so good in his denial. ‘Oh, really? How would you know? Maybe because I can practically feel your sharingan trained on it at least twice a day?’ Tobirama raised an eyebrow in his patented unimpressed manner.

‘I’m not… How dare you to imply that…’ Madara sputtered indignantly and Tobirama snorted dryly. ‘Please, could you save this for later? No one in this room wants to hear you arguing about Tobi’s backside.’ Hashirama wailed with a distressed grimace. Izuna had to back this statement wholeheartedly.

‘I didn’t start this, he did.’ Madara pointed an accusatory finger at Tobirama, a spitting image of a petulant child telling on his sibling’s misbehaving to their parent. ‘Excuse me, I’m not the whiny bitch that started complaining the minute they set their foot into the room.’ Tobirama scowled at Madara who immediately whipped around. Both Hashirama and Izuna released resigned sighs and exchanged a look of sympathy.

 

‘Who do you call a bitch, snowflake?’ Madara stomped closer to Tobirama so they could yell directly into each other’s faces. _‘How poetic.’_ Izuna snorted to himself. ‘Snowflake? Really? What kind of insult is that?’ Tobirama raised his other brow to perfect his unimpressed stare.

‘Well… You’re all white like they were bathing you in bleach as a baby and also a cold bastard. Obviously.’ Madara toned his voice a bit lower, momentarily confused. ‘And here I was thinking you’re finally acknowledging just how unique and one-of-a-kind I am.’ Tobirama smirked wryly when Madara screeched like a boiling kettle.

 

‘I wasn’t implying anything like that you arrogant ass!’ Madara hissed after a moment while Tobirama basked in his angry sputtering. ‘And here we are back to talking about asses. Your conversational skills aren’t overly sharp today.’ The silver-haired Senju snorted again. He so enjoyed riling the older Uchiha up. Izuna normally loved listening to Tobirama’s witty comebacks but right now he was just sick of them and their so obvious mutual pining. They should just finally fuck each other.

‘Damn you, Senju! My patience is wearing thin, shut up if you don’t want me to set that ass of yours on fire.’ Madara leaned even closer to Tobirama, attempting to glare holes into the albino’s skull. ‘As if you could ever get even remotely close to laying your dirty paws on me.’ Tobirama held the stare without a flinch. It was fair to mention that Madara threatened with using katon on Tobirama’s backside so often the threat stopped being taken as a serious one ages ago.

‘That’s it. Come outside and face me if you’re not just a bragging coward. I’ll burn you to the crisp, even Hashirama won’t be able to heal you.’ Madara gritted through his teeth, fists clenched, visibly restraining himself from clawing Tobirama’s eyes out. ‘Oh please. Bring it on, Uchiha. I’ll gladly teach you a lesson if you so desire one.’ Tobirama snapped back.

 

 

Their faces were now just inches away and gods graced Izuna with one of his brilliant ideas. He glanced at Hashirama, who had his chin propped on his hand, watching his younger brother and best friend arguing with sullen expression. _‘Alright, it’s for the good of everyone, not just theirs.’_ Izuna nodded to himself with a resolve and elbowed Madara to his back with just enough force to send him stumbling forward. To where Tobirama’s face conveniently happened to be just in front of the elder Uchiha.

Madara's mouth met with Tobirama's with a loud smack and for a moment one could hear a pin falling on the ground. Hashirama stopped drumming his fingers on the desk, staring with jaw somewhere on his lap. Tobirama’s eyebrows disappeared under his happuri and his normally narrowed eyes were twice their size. Madara was staring into them with his own eyes – he even activated his sharingan in anticipation of the fight, priceless he would remember this forever – wider than saucers, one hand clutching Tobirama’s biceps where he caught himself not to fall.

 

As several seconds passed and the two remained frozen in the same position, Hashirama’s face morphed into a display of unabashed glee. ‘Oh kami, thank you, Izuna. Finally someone did it.’ The hokage clapped his hands enthusiastically. That finally snapped their brothers out of their stupor and they jumped away from each other with disgusted grimaces. Madara even wiped at his lips with his sleeve.

‘You can thank me by preventing them from murdering me.’ Izuna flashed a short grin at the brunet and backed away towards the window for the tactical retreat while Madara and Tobirama directed their scorching glares at him. ‘Izunaaaa…!’ Was the only thing Madara roared before he rounded Hashirama’s desk (the wail of despair Hashirama produced meant Madara managed to scatter all his paperwork while at it) and Izuna bolted out of the window.

 

 

Izuna had to give it to them, they were really determined in their pursuit to eliminate him from the Earth's surface for his mischief (he preferred to call it an act of kindness though) because they were chasing him around the village for a good part of an hour, causing uproar literally everywhere. Hashirama would have to repair at least seven roofs, why did the idiots need to enhance their running speed with chakra?

 

They eventually caught him in the Uchiha compound near the koi pond. Tobirama seemed ready to drown him with his suiton, but Madara stopped him. ‘Don’t waste chakra on him before the mission. The pond will do.’ With matching nods of agreement they both launched themselves on poor young Uchiha.

He owed it to Hashirama that he truly didn’t die that day, drowned in 3 feet of water surrounded by water lillies, goldfish, trenches and koi carps. The hokage arrived huffing and puffing, rightfully pissed about the property damage and all the ruckus around his village.

 

When Hashirama berated them thoroughly, he sent them to get the scroll with mission objectives and leave for that damned mission. Both Madara and Tobirama deflated by then and just nodded with minor grumbling, then turned towards the gate out of the Uchiha compound.

Watching them from where he was still sitting in the pond, Izuna had to giggle. Madara totally _was_ checking Tobirama’s ass out. ‘You’re staring again.’ Tobirama huffed peevishly. ‘Well sorry it drags attention. You couldn’t wear tighter pants, could you?’ Madara snapped back. ‘I could wear none.’ Tobirama shrugged nonchalantly, smirking at Madara’s muffled screech. The Uchiha’s arms went flying while he screamed something Izuna didn’t quite catch as they were too far away but the retreating pair was a ridiculous display none the less.

 

Hashirama laughed quietly from where he was watching the two as well and held out a hand for Izuna to help him out of the pond. ‘That was a valiant stunt, Izuna! Let’s hope they will finally hit it. It would make them both a whole world of good.’ The hokage patted his shoulder and plucked the weed from his wet hair.

‘Get changed from that drenched clothes and go tell Touka. She will laugh herself silly no doubt.’ Hashirama winked at him and made to return back into his office. Izuna had to grin to himself. ‘Oh I didn’t think of that! Yes, that will surely impress her!’ He rubbed his hands in glee and ran towards his house to make himself presentable for the devious Senju woman.

**Author's Note:**

> I have the lineart done but the pics still need colouring. I'll put the link in there and mention it in the summary once it's done!
> 
> Thanks for reading! (: <3


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